Been thinking and trying to figure things out last night. Dennis and I walked through the streets of Hougang for hours and I concluded that I have to put down my baggages and move on.

So goodbye to all this, I am moving on. I am leaving on a jetplane, don't know when I'll be back again, but sure won't be soon. Guys, I got over it. It's time for me to move on for the greater things the Lord has planned for me. No more weeping, no more hurt or pain, no more suffering, for the Lord has made a way for me to live on :)

It's a new day, I shall walk on with joy and hope.

Today is a relatively good day for me :))

Went for jam, ok lah nothing spectacular but nothing bad so i guess it's a good thing?

Went to airport after that and mmm...yup...

Then we decided to go to expo to see what's there and woah, IT FAIR + FOOD EXPO + POPULAR FAIR = AWESOME!

I went crazy in the food expo, trying to get as many freebies as possible (typical Singaporean) and i finally ate the chicken rice balls that I haven't seen for years. wooo000000OOOO!!! awesome. Food is the bomb man. And i tried the taiwan smelly toufu. It's smells like a rubbish dump but taste like normal toufu. But well Uncle said that you must eat smelly toufu to be a real man so HAHAHA I AM A MAN NOW :D

Hopefully things will get better

Today was really an impactful day.

I was really caught by God during service. I can never estimate God's timing. He touched me even before the altar call and tears flowed like a waterfall even before anything started. I can't help but respond and God...simply touched me.

I really want to thank God for this rare opportunity that His spirit touched me so strong. It has been a long time since something as strong as this ever happened. Since 2006-07 I think. It's been a long way, I've walked through much with the Lord and through the hills and valleys. God is forever my Jehoveh Jireh, providing me for everything.

Sometimes I just forget that He is there and became a bad testimony to the others. I really really regret that. I make the same mistakes over and over again. Deeply ashamed, but it's the cycle of life that continues and I will have to try not to make the mistakes again.

And of course the disappointments and unforgiveness I have against different groups of people. I must learn to let go and surrender.

Yes i am a wreck. But it's only by my flaws God's faithfulness will shine and sustain me. I've been relying so much on my own strength these few months. It's time to lean on his strength and not by my understanding.

Of course for some other issues as well, Ben: time to move on. forget about it. just go.


Anyways on lighter stuff. Pastor Yuki signed on my guitar, woots he's the bomb man, you all never see him play and sing on the guitar. He is awesome. We should open a YUKI FANCLUB. He really sounds very good and his playing...speechless. Many levels up man, yet such a humble man, i am so honoured to have him sign on my guitar :DDDDD his handwriting damn cool, got japanese words on my guitar, shiok man.

Kai taught me how to change strings properly. The other day i anyhow. that's why all my pegs got scratched, lol.

Ya anyway sectionals tomorrow. And i got to plan for my june hols to study so that i won't fail blocks. And very much hopefully promote :)

did tawG already. shiok man. Everytime i tawG i will feel very shiok la. But recent weeks due to time constraints and energy drain i haven't done it :( opps open confession.

I feel relieved, much more relieved now. I am just gonna live my life the way the Lord wants to me and heck everything else, as well as to listen to all the advice i had over the recent weeks. Thanks you all man, epsecially Jo, hahaha didn't know you so imba :)

You all are the best man, I will miss you 2010 cell. hahaha we can have our own informal cell or smt i suppose?

Deyi 30th anniversary
went there to slack so that i can pon school. Saw my friends man, very happy haha. Brandon is our Valedictorian! But his speech is amazingly usual of him. " For the secondary 2s, this is a very important year for you as you have to choose your subject combination. Study hard. For the secondary 3s, remember that your goal is not just to pass, but to pass well and to prepare for your O levels. For the secondary 4s, manage your time well. Try to do well in your first attempt for Chinese so that you do not have to retake and have more time to revise for your other subjects". Typical Brandon Sham haha. Met up with teachers and all. But went back to YJC afterwards and things got sad. Results sighhh. U for math...wtv la

Anyways in conclusion, I decided to move on in life. Try to forget, try to enter the next part of the journey. See how. Lah.

God i believe you are faithful through the seasons. I honestly am walking on thin ice but i will just trust you this time and stop wavering yeah?

As you can see, i have lame sick friends like Julian and company. Davis is the only pure breed lols.

Screw it la i failed econs again, and for a very lame reason: Ms Kwok say that i cannot write essays. Sigh it's not that i don't understand econs, i simply don't write good essays. That explains why i failed the geog test and just passed my Lit tests as well. Oh man what am i going to do? I have to do a whole ton of bloody essay outlines until i can write better than....but then again Singaporeans can't write essays for nuts, too obsessed with Physics Chemistry and Math :/ Speaking of math, i am really afraid for it man, this is one subject that can determine whether i spend another year in J1 or not. I decided already lah, if i retain, i am going to SP or NP. too bad, wasted one year of my life.

Ruijun knows my favourite song now:

WOAH WU WOAH~ WOAH OHHH, WOAH OHH OHH, WOAH OHH OHH~~~~~~~~~~~ (continues forever)


I am washing my hands off this man, I simply can't figure out what i did wrong so i am just gonna leave it as that. So there so there i don't care.

Oh well, Julian tried to cheer me up today, despite in the truest form of ultimate vulgarism, felt better after listening to him curse the world though it was wrong lol.

Training well...the running really helped me take my mind off those matters. That's why i love running, especially long distances. today's 6km was great, allowed me to escape from the world. Yes i know sounds ridiculously stupid but aiya who cares lah right?

tawG was great. God i know, i know.

Sigh, i am here to talk about my sad life again. Sad because firstly, no one tags at the tagbox. That is sad. I want to sleep more but i lack sleep. that is sad too.

But ok la, today was quite good coz i didn't screw up too badly(very little people noticed my mistakes heehee^^) and there was a breakthrough in service la, which i am quite happy about :) Like today was a very important service and it caught me like nothing. i am like: are you serious?err....

It's time to me to realise that i don't live for men but i live for God,once again. Humans are forgetful when it comes to action. I shouldn't be bothered by externalities but keep my eyes focused. Do my best, in everything i do i do my best, that's the right thing to do, and to stop thinking of stuff i shouldn't be, as usual.

Focus. yeap. Speak life into my life.

Shut up Justin bieber you useless crap. Glee is a mental brainwash meant to tell girls that they should sing all day long. American Idol is overrated. All i know is you must study or else you will end up crying.

Sian la uber sian. GPP presentation is a flop, must do GPP again :((((( sigh

When you meet a YJcian on the street, these are the top 5 things they are likely to say:

1. Damn cui
2. Imba
3. Life sucks
4. Tired
5. Don't come to YJC


But oh well, went to run just now. 40 minutes for 7.5 to 8km. I don't really know the exact distance but it's roughly there one la. It's not here nor there, not as good as the powerhouses standard i suppose but i guess can improve ba. Gonna train for the nike and standard chartered :)))

And of course study. Studying is the 4th most important thing in my life now. I know some of you will say why not make it first. Haha you noobs. I will put my tawG first, serving(musicianship) second, family third, studies fourth. yay :))

Sigh teck jun passed the flu to me. sickening. hopefully i can recover soon.

Stupid, now it's 12.12am and the baby woke up to cry for milk -.- mum and i were like zzz...guess what's the best part? He kept smiling the moment he saw milk, and he is 4 months old. Joker sia seriously.

I just finished my GP essay ZOMG and i still got a million things left to do but aiya no stamina man. Power right?

Just pissed by some friendship thingy...oh well...

Let us welcome the baby Jayden into our house now! *cheerleaders screaming like crazy*
Yes there will be a baby in my house now and it's 4 months old. I seriously wonder if it will affect the genius in making or not. Meanwhile my sister is duper excited and i don't know why, considering that she is taking her PSLE in a matter of months -.- Whatever.

5 km run. I walked at the last bit. AGAIN. Sian sia. But whenever I see someone behind me i just speed up and that's how i retained the first ;p Cheater yes i know haha.Bad training.

And the class test for math is a flop. i cannot finish 2 questions in 30 minutes la. I am sure i work something out one but pffft flop means flop. Means if i don't want to retain i must study everyday, which i already am.

Anyways YAY ADMIRALTY! well done for basketball man. You guys are awesome! of course the other houses are good but no one is as aggressive as the REDS HAHAH! (get the hint? ;p) I will try my best for sports heats man. It's me and you chin lun, and probably Alistair. May the best man win :)

Life is good if we dont have to wake up early, if we can study without stress induced, and if i can run forever and be the first :)

You all senseless losers, i would have expected more from you all but it just turns out to be an utter disappointment. Can't believe you all are 40 year olds fighting over a trivial thing, you all made a freaking 70 year old woman cry for her children. I am in totally speechlessness. I don't care whether you read this or not, i can't be bothered as well. You all can do what you want but don't make the old lady cry please. Expand your pea brains for goodness' sake. Ang guess what, it's her birthday this tuesday -.- Wake up your idea and stop being like kids, if that's what you people like to call us. Tell me how to respect you if you can't even respect yourselves.

ZZZZZZ I don't know man, this just has to happen the moment i wake up. Total spoiler. While they have their meaningless squabble i walked away.I don't see the point of doing anything because i am just a kid to them. Whatever. They think as they please.

Anyways, I must do geog tut, the virtually absent chinese hw, GP essay, Lit, and GPP. Let's go!

Last 2 weeks, last 2 weeks, after this i can wake up later ^^

Guess what, June holidays for JC ppl = no holidays. Full of PW and studying for block tests.

I know that we will survive this. We are made to last, made to survive. We won't back down, We won't give up, we will last. God did not form us to be losers. We are born to win! YEAH!!!

I will do what is pleasing to the Lord :)

I don't believe it. Coach is gone just because we busted our budget? This is ridiculously absurd man. Why track's budget so little? This really sucks.Where got track cca without coach one? Stupid School -.-

I am gonna study, bye.

Math is a bitch really. I already got U for the first module already. Push me more and i am really going to retain. It's been screwing up my life ever since i took it.

I don't want to retain, I really don't. And i don't understand man. Why is CF test 3 more difficult? shouldn't it be easier because we failed test 2? And i hate myself for making all the 20marks worth of careless mistakes in test 2. I could have gotten an A but i got an S. FML really.

I am damn angry and pissed with myself. How am i going to promote? What's the point of surviving other subjects if i can't do math? I hate it that the modular system is killing me instead of saving me. Damn the subject man.

Oh Lord please let me survive this ordeal. And together with everyone else. Let Wai Chong promote too. I don't want to lose a friend like him and see him go to NS just because of Math :(((

What the f*** is wrong with YJC? $%^&*(%$^&*($%^&*(

Ahhhh, don't you like saturdays? Everyone gets together to squeeze at a small table every week to eat dinner and talk crap haha.

I like days whereby my friends and i sit together and do nothing but talk cock.
My Alvinlaiman, Christophersernn, Dennnnis, Solomonnnn, Looooooooong Guat YonnnngZhi WeeiiiiiJuuuuuunn and guys(oh course Micah the loser tooo ;p)

Stupid Sarah. First it's monkey, then gorilla, now i am pig. zzzzz how am i linked to pork?? And that Claire damn macho keep going around trying to show ppl she very strong. Joseph Linao and Claire should arm wrestle one day and see who win. And yeahhh Michson is a fellow liverpoolian! We never walk alone~

And yes i really really hope Chelsea will beat Wigan and Man U. I rather Chelsea earn the champs than Man U grrr

But oh well happy times last forever :) sad times still occur every now and then. I failed the first freaking math module already. Fail 2 more and i can go angbaleh(3x) jingle ba next year man (YJ ppl will know what i am talking about). I don't want to retain sia. But i keep doing the math and it's like urgh. God help me :)


Oh ya to all the sec 4s this year, please study hard and don't end up like me especially the carolyn chia and yes, CHRISTOPHER CHEN HE LIANG PLEASE GO AND STUDY!

i love saturdays

When i was young , my dad never told me the truth about the world. He only said that if i worked hard, i will do well. Eventually, i grew up and realised that no matter how hard you work, some people will buy their way through with money and then i began to wonder, "Where is the equality? "

No wonder dad was bitter about serving in government. He told me that if i ever joined the service, i must be a scholar; a "white horse" to earn the money i "need". You see, my dad was a 'O' level leaver. He worked his way from a private to a 1st warrant officer, and thanks to the new system, converted to MDES 3 (a new rank for technical experts in the SAF). You have no idea how sucky that was; the feeling of losing your rank after 30 years, just to be lower than a fresh graduate who enters the Air Force as MDES 4.

After we talked that night, i began to seriously think about what i should really do in the future. I don't really have a clue, i just know that i want to be like my dad. I want to defend Singapore(sounds so national day sia...zzz) and wear a uniform so that my family will be proud of me. As you know, i can't stand my YJC uniform, makes me feel like a retard.

I don't like the idea of working in the CBD and wear those formal stuffs. It makes me feel very out of touch you know. Like dressing up so formally just to go to work, sit down in front of a computer and type all day, and go home. What's the point really?

I want to do something imba, something exciting man.

I am not your typical guy that goes after high flying salaries. There is more to life, God didn't make us to do little.

But well, life, is like math. In primary school, you were taught that there will always be a way out; there is always a solution. In secondary school you realised that there can be more than one answer, maybe two, three, or more.Then in JC you saw that not all problems have answers to them. They were either never meant to be solved, or have infinitely many solutions. Interesting analogy huh?

Singapore has the best results in math, but we couldn't apply what we learnt in math into real life. Irony.

haha :D

Grrrr irritating, i also want to go back to Deyi but i never receive the frigging letter RAHH!!! !@#$%^%^&*()!#$% !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *run around crazily*
Irritating irritating!!!

On a lighter note, today is MC day :D Get to sleep to my heart's content(gonna sleep more later), Finish up my work, let the world pass by slowly, not having to wake up early, feeling the tranquility, and arhhhhh this is wonderful life. If everyday is like this, wouldn't it be awesome :))) Of course the sore throat is getting better la ( the antibiotics worked ) and my PI battle is over ^^

Haiya today's main issue is just that my old school don't recgonise the effort i put in. Sadded ttm man :((((((((

Sigh, people come and go like nothing. Now i am utterly convinced that mortal life don't last.

Rest in peace Melissa Toh, though i may not know you personally, but well, your are still my senior(deyi) and it's really a waste. I guess life was just tough for you....oh well....

And there was this senior in YJ that passed away due to a capillary burst as well....I don't know but Lord you give and you take away, i suppose that is how you have planned it to be.

Recently my mum's distant cousin passed away all of a sudden as well...

Hmmm Lord if i were to be called home, i pray that i would have fufilled your call for me on earth man, i don't want to leave earth with regrets. Use me to impact more people, help more people, do more credit to your name, get married and have kids( i guess ) yup... and let me get A for my 3 H2s so that i can get a scholarship(hopefully), then my poor parents won't have to fork out their savings :(

So guys, moral of the story: Live life as if everyday is your last day. Live as how God would want you to live. Be a good person. Don't be hypocritical(though it's human to do so). Atone for mistakes you've done(i made plenty myself) Tell the people you care about how much you love them.Defend your nation. Protect your family. Don't bastard people. Kick your friends' ass before it's too late. Read the Obit. everyday(quoted from AlvinLaiman). Confess to your crush. Do your best in everything you do(including homework)


I guess that's life.

my council i miss you so much man, life without you guys is like chicken rice without chicken. What a bore when there is no winarti to throw stupid coffee bombs and milk bombs, no wenzhen to keep talking crap, no darylene to nag at me, no adeline to keep knocking my head, no ian to piss me off, aiya i miss you all man.Aiya juniors enjoy your time in council before it's too late really. Please let's meet up again please?

Liverpool ar Liverpool, why must you do this to us all? I was fervently expecting you guys to win man u again but you let the stupid chelsea win..sigh disappointment ttm man.

i go support tottemham then you know.

And someone said that i looked like a gorrilla, zzzzzz

If you are cool like me, you will like the bands listed below:

1.Paramore
2. Underoath
3.August Burns Red
4.Anberlin
5. Hillsong United


:D