My mum has this recent habit of calling me voon peng shan. Is it me or that I've become more lepak...

Yup left with math. Currently not doing anything after geog but have to chiong tomorrow. So I see ya around then, the little people who read this thing :)

You know something? We worry too much. As kids we worry that our parents will abandon us. As students we worry that we won't do well. As friends we worry that our friends will backstab us. As workers we worry that we don't get our pay. As adults we worry that we won't have enough money to pay the bill. As a youth we worry that our love interest won't reciprocate the admiration or love. As parents we worry that we cannot provide for the kids or do enough for them. As old people we worry that we will be a burden to our children, and worry that they will abandon us. When will we stop worrying?

I guess never. Until we allow Christ to take over.

I am dead. I haven't finished the math questionbank, i only completed plate tect. and econs i only read through. Die. Lit also. Hmm i don't know.

Every night i hear dogs howling outside my room, cats meowing to each other ,babies crying from different places, juveniles talking, blah. I can't sleep. I slept at 5am yesterday. I don't know why.

Chill, I am not emo. I am just stating facts as they are. I can't sleep.

I am tired. I've been mugging this week . I need God's strength to sustain through this weekend as well. God help me.

Amen. May God grant me good results for blocks :x

God is releasing chains of darkness in my life.

One by one.

one. by. one.


While i've come to this point of reflection and emotional sentimentality, I have to be focused. I have to be dependent. I have to ignore my self-consciousness.

I am responsible for my life even though it's not mine anymore.

And well, yesterday i was still dwelling in some problems that happened at home that made me troubled. Let's just say that I didn't feel quite good about the happenings, nor do i want to talk about it.

Conviction will only bring you so far. Faith will fuel your spiritual conviction. God will pave the way. You will decide whether you want to carry on walking or not.

可能有一天，我可以学会飞上天，动到天上的星星。如果可以的话，我会展开我所拥有的翅膀，飞到越远越好，去到一个没人认识的地方，开始一个简单的生活。但是我们总得从梦中醒悟，知道我们只能继续祷告，继续期望，继续相信那一天一定会来临。生命是痛苦的，但只有在痛苦中我们变得坚强，来应付未来的挑战。我想，这也只是一个在上天堂之前的一个小小的考验。

My chinese isn't as bad as i thought.

Studied today. Cleared some math. Time to do more econs and geog. Some drama at home again :( Can't be bothered.

God thank you for a peaceful day today :)

The Case for Christ- page 167-168

We had spent a lot of time talking about the Jesus of the Jesus Seminar- A symbolic Jesus, but one who's impotent to offer the world anything except the illusion of hope. But before we left, I wanted to hear about the Jesus of Gregory Boyd. I needed to hear about the Jesus he researches and writes scholarly books about as a theology professor is the same Jesus he preaches about on Sunday mornings.

"Let me get this straight,"I said."Your Jesus-the Jesus you relate to-is both a Jesus of history and a Jesus of faith."

Boyd clenched his fits for emphasis, as if I'd just scored a touchdown. "Yes, that's it exactly, Lee!" he exclaimed. Moving to the very edge of his chair, he spelled out precisely what his scholarship-and his heart have brought him to believe.

"It's like this:if you love a person, your love goes beyond the facts of that person, but it's rooted in the facts about that person. For example, you love your wife because she's gorgeous, she's nice, she's sweet, she's kind. All these things are facts about your wife, and therefore you love her.

But your love goes beyond that. You can know all these things about your wife and not be in love with her and put your trust in her, but you do. So the decision goes beyond the evidence,yet it is also there also on the basis of the evidence.

So it is with falling in love with Jesus.To have a relationship with Jesus Christ goes beyond just knowing the historical facts about him,yet it's rooted in the historical facts about him.I believe in Jesus on the basis of the historical evidence, but my relationship with Jesus goes way beyond the evidence.I have to put my trust in Him and walk with Him on a daily basis".

I interrupted to say,"Yes, but will you acknowledge that Christianity makes some claims about Jesus that are just plain hard to believe?"

"Yes,of course I do," He replied. "That's why I'm glad we have such incredibly strong evidence to show us they're true".

Saw coach today.Finally sia training with her and seeing my friends again makes me happy :) Get to ask about some training stuff. According to her i can do alternate training days. 15km plus core training, then the other days i rest or something. But i probably have to train either in the morning or night coz afternoon have to study for promos. I have about 90 days left. I shall work hard to promote.


Damn sian, SDSC training need to pay one. $60 a month. Means that if i want to continue to training i must work during the holidays, which i doubt i got time really, assuming if I go for OCIP and my family trip. Doubt there will be any IGNYTE camp, sadly.

Didn't go to church today. Keep having the runs. Lesson learnt is do not eat fried chicken after training. sure buang one. Went home to sleep from 3 to 7pm. I also don't know why i slept so long. Studying during weekdays quite draining i suppose?

Shall do tawG soon. Talked to laiman just now about some stuff. Yes I think I will go scrutinise the new testament later for some points. Bye :)

I wonder how will I look like in 40 years' time.


And don't be misunderstood; I am not a playboy and what you saw on facebook is just a inside joke from my cell :) Cell people...glory days..hahahahaha good ol days.


Anyways the gospel of thomas and the secret gospel of mark does not tally with Jesus's nature as shown in the 4 gospels.They are just gnostic writings. Don't bother about them Julian :) The Bible is the only Word of Life we'll ever need :)

Shall sleep early, tomorrow's training is going to be great, finally get to see coach again :D YEAH!

When life is simple, life is great. Sad thing is, it is human to get into trouble :(

God bless Singapore, Happy Birthday Trinity! hahas :)

I am on a quest to challenge my faith from today. To get to the minute details of the Bible so that I won't be stumped when people ask me about christianity. I am gonna be a defender of the faith amen! :)


Slacked today. Didn't study. Ended up watching documentaries about the North Korean regime, The anti-Japanese propaganda in China, and much more. Hmmmmm why am i so interested.......

I need to study. Hopefully tomorrow's mugging will be a success. I am still trying to piece the geog stuff together. Compile questions to ask alpha biofuels, and study more math so that I won't screw up.

Life's been good, better than the kids living in north korea at least.

And even when all hope is gone, move along- AAR.

What more for people who have hope...Nah I am not from yhope. But well, i still have hope in me somewhere. I am slowly,steadily getting on my feet. It's been taking quite some time though.

People can tell that I am going through stuff. Well......I shan't comment on that.

Been studying.Like really studying. I really hope I can promote. This, I shall not repeat as well.

But one thing I seek of the Lord, this is what I seek.That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple. -Psalms 27:4

My close friends will know that I've been struggling with many problems. But we must not be inward looking. The only way to relieve the pain is to let others feel joy. When you help others and feel their joy, your joy will be multiplied. Let us not be self-centred, then. Lord let me be selfless, that I may overlook what I am going through now, and know that you are Jehoveh Jireh. You will provide, You are.

Whatever that is happening now occurs for a reason, and I believe you are still moulding me. Let me grow in faith then. Amen.


Reminder to self:
1. GP commentaries (do by the weekends)
2. Complete VC1 (must finish by next week)
3. Read up lit notes.(next week)
4. Complete the Geog project and send to Teck Jun and ask him to print and buy the vanguard sheet.(this week)
5. TAWG everyday for 1 hour.(everyday)
6. Revise econs (next week)

Yup that's my day.

Today is a productive day :)

Anyways praise God for the mileage. can't be bothered to talk about it but yup :)


Tired.

Anyways no one reads my blog, I guess that's a good thing, hahas :)

God is good :)


How funny. I am in the midst of problems and I choose to praise God. Sitting in front of my computer, I've came to a realisation that God is ultimately bigger than anything I am facing now. I can find my solace and peace in Him. In Him i find strength. Others may think I am weak but through Jesus the weak is made strong :)

Today's the first L-cell day. CW's my leader. Awesome. Mad joined Z2. Shocked. Anyways other than all the miscellanous issues today's a good day. For me. God's grace overflows. I've surrendered my issues to Christ on the cross and choose to focus on His agenda. Let nature take its course. God will plan the route for me. It's time for me to practise faith. Right here right now.

Let my lifesong sing to you, sing to this generation.

We do not want this sickness in our generation! get this immorality out of our world!


Saw a really sick video. Disgusted beyond words.

God I am amazed at your mercy for this sick and dying world. Where do you find all your grace from? How did you find all the strength to love this world? I am speechless, at your love, once again. You are just like the economy. Unexpectable. You will make the best economist if the world is a failing market, which it is. If I can, I want to give you all the control so that you can save humanity. Of course, now I want to do my part so that your love will not be in vain.

Hi people I am back!!! like, back!!!

this week quite happy. Going to school is productive. Seeing Naufal makes me motivated to study harder. Studying is a joy. But getting exam results is not when you fail :( Anyways guess what, 100 days to promos! woahhh isn't that cool? I love exams :D

Julian loves to eat poo poo. Rui Jun is a hardcore suaner and she should go exercise more. Where the hell is Teck Jun that loser keeps ponning remedial. Robyn also. BOO BOO~

I love econs. I love geog. I love math. lit is subjective. GP is nonsense. Chinese is rubbish. PW is lame.

OMG Julian keeps harping on the freaking poo poo video. laugh only. Well at least school is fun now. Funny friends, funny incidents. funny stories. (Y) subjects. No more chemistry :D love geog. love-hate econs. nvm ruijun help me pump maths.

Davis i know you hate this but I LOVE TO STUDY WOOHOO~ bye loser i am off to study and i shall own you nehnehni POO POO

I will find my breakthrough, I won't give up that easily.

I was born for this.

Just wait and see, you'll see me rise through the ashes, i'll trigger a landslide to finish off your finite minds.

Victory

Determined.

Read a story about how a teacup is made. It kinda like inspired me because of all the things the clay goes through to become a teacup; it's definitely not easy to be a piece of clay.

1 week of holidays over, 3 left. I must make full use of my time now to catch up so that i can get decent results. Thank God that my holiday timetable is very lax and i have more time to rest, but also i need to work hard to do well lah. I don't want to regret not studying. Though sometimes i am still quite slack, but i have chiong sua friends like Christopher RuiJun Julian and all the pro muggers to motivate me. OK i really should promote or else i would have let them down haha

yups i am studying for blocks and doing PW. I hate PW. It's a waste of time really. I really want to get A for PW and move on. Chinese? LOL. if i can get A for that then good for me lah, but apparently i doubt so; my chinese really sucked. I thought that my A2 would have helped me but alas, it didn't. SIAN TTM

In JC, there is no "life" to speak of. Ironically, I haven't really lost my social life. I guess it's simply that i am too slack for a JC student. Ominous sign. That's bad. I need to really hardcore study.

Trying to find geography kids to study geog with me leh. Hopefully O level geog people because i lack foundation. I don't take O lvl geog. Hopefully they can like help me in some way or another. Of course H2 H1 geog ppl also can la. I really really want to do well for geography. In fact I want to do well for everything! duh sounds ambitious right? No lah trying to rise slowly :)

Yes friends. Currently my lifestyle is as such: Wake up. Eat. Study(weekdays)Church(weekends). TAWG(night)

sad? you bet. Well I guess I have to think of the big picture. Get into university. yeah. Pray that the Lord will multiply my energy to study and to serve and to train for runs :)

Relatively positive today for some reason(i don't know why either but feels good to be good) :))

I. must. let. go.

Oh well, talked to theodore last night. Realised issues i never figured out. Found out that i held baggages inside me. Like things of the past. resentment. animosity.I really need to surrender. not just saying it, but doing it.

Because the limelight should never be on me. It should always be on God. I am but a vapour in the wind. Who am I that Jesus died for me? I shouldn't let my hatred or anger get the better of me. Against anyone or anything.

Give me some time, friends. God is moulding me and it hurts. But I will come out stronger and more refined. I just don't happen to talk as often to more people and tend to keep more to myself but yeah, I'll be fine soon enough.

2010: year of humility. I will never ever forget.


Smile at me :)

Lord bring me into your inner courts again
let me feel your peace.
saturating throughout my soul.
Prepare me for the trials i face ahead,
Yet let me know that you are near.
Let your light shine in my failings
Let your mercy fall on me.


Went jamming with dennis chris and davis. lol let's not talk about it.


Been talking very long walks lately. God has spoken a lot to me. About the knots i tied inside of me. I need to learn how to let go and let Him be. Liberation.

THINGS TO DO:

1. study
2. study
3. study
4. study
5. train
6. train
7. train
8. train
9. drum
10. drum
11. drum
12. drum
13. drum (ok maybe abit of guitar)
14. sleep
15.sleep
16. DOTA (optional)

My answer is you, because you are love, and love never fails.

Learn to see things introspectively and be more open-minded.

God's context of humility is many times higher compared to human humility.

note to self: You are God's son.

HELLO JAYDEN YOU ARE 5 MONTHS OLD! :DD

Yes i know i totally sound like girly and gay but this fellow made me smile all the time. He is the only cuddly thing that ever smiles back at me to cheer me up. Everytime i talk to him he just responds with sounds and we had a lot of fun together.

Initially i thought that he would be a hassle when he comes to live with us but he brings more joy than anything else. He makes me very happy lah basically :) At least his presence lets me know that there is still innocence existing in this world :) And I feel very much attached to him because I do wake up at night because of him and I learnt how to bathe him and all that baby crap, well at the end of the day, his smile makes me feel that all the hassle is worth it :)

Wouldn't it be great to be child again? Without a care or worry for anything?

I finally got VF 7AN. Usual price $20.87 and i bought it at $15.60. Quite happy that i can get it at that price :)


Was doing some self-reflection and realised that I've changed for the worse. Think that is a very bad thing and I ought to be remorseful for it. I guess I have to be mindful of what I think and say and do. I am sure this is what God has intended me to do as well: constantly be in self-control. Lacking of self-control is not very biblical if I may say so.

From the way I think and what I ought to think about and what I ought to say and do, there is much room for improvement. It is really time for me not to just NATO around but really do something.Therefore, I shall go back to the basics and tawG more regularly from now onwards, like what eunice hahappie always say.

I am thankful that the grace of God has never left me. God thank you for being merciful and forgiving me despite stumbling time and again. Thank you.

I don't have to bother about what anyone says because this life is yours.